Beyond New Year’s Resolutions: How Intentions Create Change That Actually Lasts
Every January, many of us feel a powerful surge of motivation, a sense that this is finally the moment things will change. We call this the fresh-start effect, and it’s very real. Unfortunately, so is the disappointment that often follows.
Traditional New Year’s resolutions rely on rigid rules and all-or-nothing thinking. When life inevitably interrupts, one slip-up can feel like total failure. Over time, this cycle can lead to frustration, shame, and the belief that change just isn’t possible.
But lasting growth doesn’t require perfection, it requires direction.
By shifting from rigid resolutions to flexible intentions, focusing on approach-based goals, and using supportive tools like “if–then” plans, we can create change that is sustainable and compassionate. Writing a letter to your future self can further deepen this process, helping you reconnect with your values and notice growth that’s already unfolding.
Real change isn’t about starting over.
It’s about continuing, gently, intentionally, and with self-trust.
When the Holidays Hurt: Navigating Loss & Family Disowning as an LGBTQ+ Person
The holidays are painted as a season of warmth, family, and togetherness, but for many LGBTQ+ individuals, this time of year can bring up grief, loneliness, or the painful reminder of family rejection. Whether you’re mourning the loss of someone you loved, the end of a relationship, or the ache of being disowned for who you are, the holidays can intensify wounds that never fully healed.
This blog explores compassionate, affirming ways to care for yourself during a season that isn’t always kind, like building chosen-family traditions, setting boundaries that protect your peace, rewriting the stories you were given, and staying connected to people who truly see and love you.
If the holidays feel heavy this year, please know you’re not alone, and there is room for comfort, meaning, and healing right here in the holler.
Tending to the Empty Chair: Navigating Grief and Loss During the Holidays
The holidays are supposed to be merry and bright, but when you’re grieving, they can feel unbearably heavy. Whether you’ve lost a loved one, ended a relationship, or find yourself mourning the life you once knew, this season can bring waves of emotion that catch you off guard.
Grief doesn’t follow a calendar. It doesn’t take time off for carols or lights. And you don’t have to either.
This new blog explores compassionate ways to honor your loss during the holidays, like creating simple rituals of remembrance, giving yourself the gift of choice, writing a letter to your loved one, and leaning on others for support.
If the holidays feel harder than joyful this year, please know you’re not alone. There’s still room for comfort, meaning, and gentle healing in the holler.
Untwisting Your Thinking: How Cognitive Distortions Increase Anxiety (And What to Do About It)
“Don’t believe everything you think.”
Cognitive distortions, those sneaky, automatic thought traps, can quietly fuel our anxiety without us even realizing it. In this week’s blog, I break down what cognitive distortions are, how they impact our mental health, and how you can begin to challenge them through tools like thought journaling and cognitive restructuring. Whether you’re brand-new to therapy or just looking for clarity, this post offers practical steps to help you take your thoughts off autopilot.
Undoing the Freeze: How to Reclaim Motivation When You Feel Stuck
Ever sat frozen in front of a task you know is important — and still couldn’t make yourself move?
That feeling of heaviness, foggy thinking, and stuckness isn’t laziness. It’s the freeze response, a biological survival mechanism that can shut down motivation and executive functioning.
In this week’s post, I explore:
Why freeze happens (especially for trauma survivors & folks with ADHD)
How to gently unstick your system using micro-steps and nervous system cues
Two guided exercises: a “Freeze Inventory” and a “First Step Finder”
Why action creates motivation — not the other way around
This isn’t about pushing through — it’s about compassionately supporting your nervous system back into motion. Read more and start practicing small, doable steps that build momentum with kindness, not shame.
Coming Out in the Holler: Navigating Your Truth
Coming out can be a beautiful, life-changing experience – but in rural areas like Eastern Kentucky, it can also feel complicated and risky. In this blog post, I’m sharing tips for balancing safety and authenticity, plus resources and gentle reminders that there’s no single way to come out. Your truth matters – and you deserve to feel safe as you share it.
Celebrating Pride, Healing Together: The Power of Community
Pride is about more than rainbows – it’s about community. In this post, I’m talking about how LGBTQ+ folks in small towns and rural areas can find (or build) connection and mutual support, even when resources are limited. Explore tips, resources, and a personal reflection on why community matters here in the holler.
Pride in the Holler – Honoring Our Roots, Lifting Our Voices
June is here, and with it comes a chance to celebrate Pride in the holler. At Counseling in the Holler, we’re dedicated to lifting up LGBTQ+ voices and making sure everyone feels safe, seen, and valued – no matter how remote our communities may be. In this post, we’re honoring our roots, sharing resources, and talking about what it means to be proud and visible in Eastern Kentucky.
Building a Supportive Community for Mental Well-being
In my final post for Mental Health Awareness Month, I highlight the importance of connection and belonging. A strong support system can make all the difference for those navigating mental health challenges. This week’s blog explores how supportive communities enhance resilience, reduce isolation, and foster healing.
Understanding the Link Between Mental and Physical Health
In Week 4 of Mental Health Awareness Month, we explore how mental and physical health are fundamentally connected. From how stress impacts the body to how chronic illness can influence mental wellness, it’s clear that holistic care is key. This week’s blog dives into why integrated health approaches matter and how you can take small steps to support your whole-person wellness.