Undoing the Freeze: How to Reclaim Motivation When You Feel Stuck
Introduction
Have you ever had a day where you just couldn’t get started — no matter how important the task was? You sit there knowing what you should do, but your body feels heavy, your thoughts stall out, and everything feels impossible. That’s not laziness. That’s freeze, a biological survival response.
The freeze response is a state of nervous system shutdown. It’s your body’s way of trying to protect you when it senses that fight or flight aren't safe or possible. While this response is incredibly adaptive in life-threatening situations, in everyday life it can feel like being paralyzed by tasks, responsibilities, or decisions.
Understanding what freeze is, why it happens, and how to work with it, rather than against it, can help you move from stuckness to action, with compassion, not shame.
Why We Freeze Instead of Act
When your nervous system detects threat or overwhelm, it chooses one of several survival responses:
Fight (confront the threat)
Flight (run away)
Freeze (shut down to survive)
Fawn (people-please or appease to maintain safety)
The freeze response occurs when the brain senses there’s no safe way to escape or fight, so it defaults to immobilization. This response is not conscious or chosen, it’s a primitive reflex coming from the brainstem, which overrides logic and willpower (Levine, 2010).
In trauma survivors, people with PTSD, or individuals who’ve experienced chronic stress, this shutdown response can get stuck in the “on” position, leading to chronic procrastination, numbness, or overwhelm even when no danger is present.
Why Freeze Isn’t Laziness
Laziness implies an unwillingness or indifference — a choice not to act.
Freeze, on the other hand, is an involuntary nervous system shutdown that can feel paralyzing. You may want to do the thing (clean the kitchen, send the email, make the call), but your system is in a fog or freeze state that blocks forward motion.
Understanding this difference helps shift:
From shame to compassion
From "What’s wrong with me?" to "What’s happening in my nervous system?"
From self-blame to trauma-informed self-awareness
ADHD, Executive Function, and the Freeze Response
For folks with ADHD, freeze often overlaps with executive functioning struggles:
Initiating tasks
Sustaining focus
Organizing thoughts or actions
Combine these with trauma or chronic stress, and your system may default to freeze even more quickly (NIMH, 2023). The key is recognizing this overlap and approaching it not with judgment, but with scaffolding- gentle support to help your brain get moving again.
How Micro-Steps Build Momentum
When we feel stuck, we often wait for motivation to appear. But motivation doesn’t always come first. In fact, action often creates motivation, not the other way around.
Micro-steps are tiny, non-threatening actions that help gently bring your nervous system back online. They:
Signal safety to your brain
Increase dopamine through completion
Build trust with yourself
Instead of “write the paper,” try:
Open the document
Write one sentence
Set a timer for 5 minutes
Momentum grows when we remove pressure, break tasks down, and reduce the fear or overwhelm associated with the activity.
Guided Exercises
1. Freeze Inventory: “What Makes Me Shut Down?”
This reflective activity increases awareness of your freeze triggers, helping you prepare, plan, and respond more skillfully.
Step-by-Step Instructions:
Set aside 10-15 minutes in a calm space with a journal or notes app.
Reflect on a recent time you felt stuck or frozen. Ask yourself:
What was happening before I shut down?
Were there specific thoughts? (“I’ll fail,” “It’s too much,” “I can’t handle this.”)
What did I feel physically? (Heavy limbs, blank mind, fogginess, slow heartbeat?)
What emotion was beneath it? (Fear, shame, overwhelm?)
How did I respond? (Scrolled, slept, avoided, zoned out?)
3. Write it down using a structure like this:
4. Repeat this process with other moments of stuckness. Patterns will emerge that help you anticipate and respond differently next time.
2. First Step Finder Worksheet: Break the Freeze Loop
This activity turns overwhelming tasks into bite-sized, approachable actions — and creates safety through structure.
Step-by-Step Instructions:
Choose one task that feels too overwhelming or frozen.
Example: “Clean the kitchen”
List 3–5 micro-steps that feel doable, even if they seem “too small.”
Open the cabinet and take out one dish
Throw away one piece of trash
Set a 5-minute timer for “cleaning” only
Set a timer for 5 minutes and do just the first step. That’s it.
When the timer ends, ask yourself:
“Do I want to keep going?”
“What helped me start?”
“What’s my next micro-step?”
Bonus tip: Attach the task to a ritualized “cue”:
“After I start the kettle, I wipe one counter.”
“When I open my laptop, I write one sentence.”
Nervous System Soothing Before Action
If freeze feels too strong, start with the body before the task:
Shake out your arms or legs
Splash cold water on your face
Do 10 jumping jacks
Put on music and move around
Name your state aloud: “I’m in freeze. I’m safe now. I can move.”
Final Thoughts
Undoing the freeze response isn’t about forcing productivity, it’s about helping your nervous system feel safe enough to move. By listening to your body, breaking down tasks, and using micro-steps, you rebuild trust with yourself and create momentum from a place of compassion.
You are not lazy. You are not broken.
Your system is protecting you and you can learn to lead it gently back to action.
Need Support Unfreezing?
If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or caught in a freeze response that just won’t budge, you’re not alone, and you don’t have to figure it out by yourself. At Counseling in the Holler, we offer compassionate, trauma-informed therapy to help you gently reconnect with your motivation, your body, and your goals.
✨ Ready to take a micro-step toward healing?
ReferencesLevine, P. A. (2010). In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness. North Atlantic Books.
National Institute of Mental Health. (2023). Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd
Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. Norton.