Coming Out in the Holler: Navigating Your Truth
Navigating Your Truth with Safety and Compassion
Coming out is often seen as a powerful act of authenticity and freedom. But in rural areas like Eastern Kentucky, it can also feel complicated and risky. Small towns can be tight-knit and full of tradition—and for many LGBTQ+ folks, that can make it feel like there’s no clear or “safe” way to share your truth.
I want to remind you: your truth matters. And you deserve to feel safe and supported as you navigate it.
At Counseling in the Holler, I want to honor the courage it takes to even consider coming out. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. And there’s no timeline or “should” about it, either.
The Complexity of Coming Out
For some folks, coming out is an empowering way to reclaim their identity and live fully as themselves. For others, it can feel too risky – especially when family, work, or faith communities may not be supportive.
In places like Eastern Kentucky, where family and community ties run deep, coming out can bring up fears of rejection, discrimination, or even violence. It can also mean navigating faith-based communities, generational beliefs, or social expectations that might not align with your identity.
Research shows that LGBTQ+ people in rural areas often face higher rates of family rejection and community stigma (Movement Advancement Project, 2019). And yet, studies also show that being able to live authentically, when it’s safe, can lead to better mental health and a deeper sense of belonging.
There’s No Single Way to Come Out
First and foremost: there is no “right” way to come out. It’s your journey, and you’re allowed to decide what feels best for you.
Here are some gentle reminders:
✅ You don’t owe anyone your truth if it puts you at risk. Honor your safety first – If coming out puts you in danger – physically, emotionally, or financially – it’s okay to wait or find other ways to express your truth. Your safety matters most.
✅Coming out can happen in small steps – Give yourself permission to go slow – You don’t have to come out to everyone all at once. You can decide who needs to know and when. Your journey can be slow and steady.
✅ Choose who you trust – Start with those who feel the safest: a close friend, an affirming family member, or even a supportive therapist. Small, trusted circles can help you build confidence.
✅ You can change your mind about how, when, or if you come out at all.
✅ Lean on resources and support – Online communities, hotlines, and affirming spaces (like this practice!) can be lifelines when you’re feeling alone.
✅ Know that your identity is real, even if you’re not out yet – Coming out doesn’t make you LGBTQ+; your truth is yours, no matter what.
“Your story is your own. Don’t let anyone rush it, rewrite it, or diminish it.”
Tips for Balancing Safety and Authenticity
Here are some tips for navigating coming out while prioritizing your safety and well-being:
🌱 1. Check In with Yourself
What do you hope to gain by coming out?
What fears or worries are coming up for you?
Are there small steps that feel safe right now?
🌈 2. Seek Out Supportive Allies
Find folks who have your back—friends, family members, community groups, or affirming professionals.
Having someone to talk to can make the process feel less isolating.
🛑 3. Take It at Your Own Pace
There’s no deadline for coming out. Trust your gut.
If you need to wait until you’re in a safer environment (like after moving away or graduating), that’s valid.
📚 4. Learn from Others’ Stories
Reading about how other LGBTQ+ folks have navigated coming out—especially in rural areas—can provide both comfort and ideas.
Resources for Support and Connection
Here are some trusted resources to explore:
The Trevor Project – 24/7 support for LGBTQ+ youth and young adults: www.thetrevorproject.org
PFLAG – Resources and support for families and allies: www.pflag.org
GLAAD’s Coming Out Resources – https://www.glaad.org/comingout
Counseling in the Holler – Offering LGBTQ+-affirming therapy for folks in Kentucky: www.hollercounseling.com
A Personal Reflection from the Holler
As someone who grew up, currently lives, and works in Eastern Kentucky, I know firsthand how tight-knit our communities can be. I also know how incredibly brave it is to share your truth, even in small ways.
For me, Pride has always been about creating a safe place to be yourself—a space where you’re met with love and acceptance, not judgment. My practice is grounded in that same belief. Here in the holler, we’re working to build spaces that say: you are seen, you are valid, and you are not alone.
Final Thought: Your Journey, Your Truth
If you or someone you love is navigating the coming out process and feeling unsure, I want you to remember: there’s no single way to do this. You deserve to feel safe, loved, and seen—in your own time, in your own way.
At Counseling in the Holler LLC, I’m here to support you wherever you are in your journey. If you’d like to talk, explore your feelings, or just need someone to listen, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
Reach out when you’re ready. Healing and hope are possible.
Happy Pride, y’all – in whatever way feels right for you. 🌈🪻
